


Of All The Worlds In All The Universes In All Reality, You Walk Into Mine

by DontOffendTheBees



Series: Brotzly Week (Lets Pretend For The Purposes Of This Challenge That I Haven't Been Living Every Week As If It's Brotzly Week) [6]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Banter, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Meta, Pop Culture, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-15 05:01:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11223861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontOffendTheBees/pseuds/DontOffendTheBees
Summary: “Honestly, Todd! You’ve seen electric ghosts, girls in dogs- you’veliterallytravelled in time- but an alternate universe is where you draw the line?”Brotzly Week day six. Prompt: AUs





	Of All The Worlds In All The Universes In All Reality, You Walk Into Mine

**Author's Note:**

> sorry bout the soul-destroying angst yesterday here’s some happy meta stuff!!!
> 
> fun fact: every AU referenced here is either a) a reference to something else connected with the show/actors (comics, tv, books etc) or b) an AU i’ve currently got in my wips folder ;) ;) :) there’s 6 of those ones. hints of things to come!

“Todd, you would not _believe_ the dream I had last night!”

“Is it anything like the one where my head turned into an ice cream cone?” said Todd with a wince. “Because if so I don’t wanna hear it.”

“I can’t believe you’re _still_ upset about that- Dream Me was hungry! He’d been white-water rafting all day!”

“Just… tell me what you dreamed last night and get it over with, ‘kay?”

“Ah, right, yes.” Dirk leaned across their shared desk, arms folded and eyes bright. “I dreamed that you and I… were _fish.”_

Todd waited for more. It didn’t seem to be coming. “…Fish?”

“Salmon, to be precise.”

“Right. Okay, Dirk, that’s… fascinating.”

“Doesn’t it make you wonder?”

“Wonder _what?”_

“If there’s actually a universe like that somewhere!” Dirk said excitedly, bouncing up and down in his seat a little.

“What, like… an alternate universe?”

“Yes!”

“Where we’re _fish?!”_

_“Yes!”_

“…No, not really.”

Dirk rolled his eyes. “Honestly, Todd! You’ve seen electric ghosts, girls in dogs- you’ve _literally_ travelled in time- but an alternate universe is where you draw the line?”

“An alternate universe where we’re _fish?_ Yeah, it is.”

“Well, okay, maybe there’s no fish universe,” Dirk conceded, looking mildly disappointed. “But I’m sure there’s others! Anything’s possible! Maybe there’s one where I’m a vampire! Or an angel!”

Todd snorted. Both those options seemed equally preposterous. Or maybe weirdly likely… “Those are your first two ideas? Angels and vampires?”

“Well, anything that can fly, preferably. I’d also settle for one where I fly around in a magic time-travelling box.”

“What are you even-?”

“I’ll bet there’s one or two where _you_ have superpowers, too! Maybe you’re _psychic!”_

“Ugh, pass- it never seems to do _you_ any good.”

Dirk’s so caught up in his weird flow that he doesn’t even bother to correct Todd on the psychic thing. “Maybe we _both_ have powers in one of them! Maybe I can see the future! We could be a superhero squad!”

“I feel like we’d accidentally kill more people than we save,” said Todd with a snort.

“Maybe, out there, in the _vastness_ of the unknown,” said Dirk, lowering his voice conspiratorially. “There’s a universe where I’m _Australian.”_

“…That one’s not super weird, honestly.”

“And I swear a lot!”

“Okay, that’s a _little_ weirder.”

“And I’m a _dog!”_

“Oh, come _on!”_ Todd laughed, kicking Dirk under the table. “In what universe would _those_ three things go together?”

“In at least one of them, probably- if there’s infinite universes, that means infinite possibilities! Who’s to say I’m not your crude Australian dog in one of them?”

“Okay, but what are the chances of you being _my_ dog? It’s a big world, how is it we still know each other in all these theoretical universes, huh?”

Dirk furrowed his brow and stared at Todd as if he’d asked the dumbest question ever. “Well, the ones where we _don’t_ know each other aren’t worth mentioning, are they?”

"...Oh."

He really should be past the days of being caught off-guard by Dirk’s blunt sweetness by now. He wasn’t entirely sure how to respond.

"...maybe," Todd said, shifting to make himself comfy. "There's one where we live together?"

No harm in playing along a _little,_ right?

Dirk grinned, eyes alight. "Oh, definitely!"

"We share an apartment-"

"And we have a dog!"

"Yeah, I guess..."

"And we're _undercover_!"

"Yeah, sure- wait, what?"

"Yes! It's all an elaborate ruse! We were both homeless and needed somewhere to live and so we pretended to be a couple to get a flat and now-!"

"Dirk?"

"Hm?"

"Calm down."

"Did I get a bit carried away?"

"Kinda," said Todd, smiling fondly at the goofball across the desk.

"Ah. Sorry."

"No, it's fine, I..." Todd ducked his head, tapping his pen on the desk. Having emotions made him fidgety. "I, uh, actually kinda like the sound of that one."

He could hear the smile in Dirk's voice. "Yeah. So do I."

They sat in comfortable silence a moment, just thinking. Todd wondered how many more universes Dirk was imagining right now, how many where they were friends? Co-workers? How many where they were… something else?

Maybe this universe could be one of those someday.

Dirk cleared his throat. "I don’t like it as much as the really weird one, though. The one where I'm an alien and you're... well, _tall_."

He really should have seen the kick coming this time.

**Author's Note:**

> there we go! hope you had a laugh after yesterday's emotional rollercoaster! ^_^


End file.
